Victim vs. Victor

You’re a hero because today you when out into the world and managed to get through another day without having a complete meltdown. Really, that’s your hero’s journey?

People don’t listen to the heroes excuses, not because the hero doesn’t have any. But because the hero doesn’t frame his story in terms of his suffering and obstacles. He wouldn’t be a hero if he did.

Victimhood comes with its benefits:

  • Victims get to have excuses.
  • Victims get to pass off blame.
  • Victims get to be the moral authority on suffering.

What people stuck in this mentality don’t realize is that suffering is a really terrible thing to be an authority on. Asking for pity forces you to operate from a low social standing.

Why not be an authority on compassion, courage, or temperance?

  • Winners are looked up to.
  • Heros are put up on a pedestal.
  • But we have to lift up the marginalized.

Imagine Rachel Meadows saying, “As a victim of declining traditional media consumption, us poor folks at MSNBC really are having a hard time with those massive budget cuts.” This would never work. Because people don’t pity celebrities, they idolize them. This is why celebrities virtue signal by having pity for everyone else. They are coming from a place for success and privilege and they feel sorry for you.

People use the language of the victim mindset every day.

  • “They hurt me”
  • “I could never”
  • “I don’t know what I want”
  • “I can never have what I want”
  • “It’s hopeless”

We pretend we have no choices because we have too many. We tell ourselves that all of our choices are equally bad so that we never have to make the wrong one. We self-impose limitations to free ourselves from the responsibility of real impact.

The world is a complicated place, and you can tell 100 different stories of the same event. We can’t see everything thats happening around us, and even the things we can see we never fully understand. We need to simplify the complexity of the world with a belief in trust, faith, and destiny.

If I have to frame a story as good or bad, victim or victor, I’d choose victor every time. Not just because it makes for a more compelling story, but it makes for a more meaningful life.